The Spilled Glass

I had just taken a sip of my coffee when I heard the clunk of a glass falling on its side at the table to my right, followed by a startled noise from the table’s occupants. I glanced across; nothing had been broken, but water had spilled all over their table and had started inching toward the edge.

Those seated around the table were older adults, maybe still in the upper rungs of middle-aged. After the surprised chirp, it took them all of five seconds to assess the situation and appoint someone to go and get some napkins. The appointed person wandered off and then… the others just kept on talking. Not the slightest sign of being bothered, not even a change of tone in their voices. It was a wonderful moment of practical wisdom from, I assume, a fair amount of life experience.

Maybe it was too small of a moment for me to have noticed with such joy. When I thought, however, of the reactions my friends and I would have had to a full glass of water being tipped over a table, there was a vast difference. Multiple people, perhaps, would have stood to search out the fastest route to the napkins, maybe tracking down a waiter. Everyone else would have felt the need to do… something. Moving plates or cups out of the way, attempting to contain the water somehow, or just looking at it and making some kind of concerned noise. Not nothing. Not the unbothered nothing that these older adults beautifully displayed.

I enjoyed this moment because, really, there is nothing to be done! Besides waiting for someone to return with mopping equipment, nothing can really be done to stop water from spreading across a table after it’s been spilled. You can’t put it back in the glass. So why bother wasting time and energy being stressed about it?
It wasn’t carelessness this group showed – action was being taken. When napkins were brought to the table, everyone helped to mop the water up. But until then, why not carry on the conversation? Worrying isn’t going to unspill the glass. Getting frustrated at the person who made the mistake isn’t going to, either. These things only add unnecessary tension to our day. Something I suspect this group had learned.

Before the napkins had come, the sound could be heard, below conversations resumed, of water dripping onto the floor. I smiled.

I haven’t heard the expression in a long time, ‘There’s no use crying over spilled milk.’ Maybe we think it’s too harsh these days. It is not intended for situations when grief is warranted and appropriate. It is intended to remind us that mistakes and their consequences happen in life. Sometimes the milk (or water) has already been spilled, and getting upset about it isn’t going to change that fact. The best thing to do is figure out the action to be taken, take it, and then carry on with the conversation.